Oh such a long time with no posts

Wow! I’m a major slacker. In my defense, summer was crazy with the kids and the new dog. Our best friends’ 2 kids came and spent just over two weeks with us. While they were here, one of them got an awful stomach bug. That went through the rest of our family. Then school started and it has been the worst year yet for us and germs. Another stomach bug hit us – this one was 3 days per person. I ended up at the ER with my older daughter. Everyone but my husband caught that one. We have had a few cases of strep. And we finished up the year with the girls and I getting flu (tested positive for influenza A – and yes, we did get our vaccines). Fun times I tell ya!

We again went out to Wyoming/Idaho for about 11 days after Christmas. I had some really sad twinges while out there. It was when we were there last year that I found out that Spencer’s cancer had moved to his lungs. I’m now generally able to talk fondly of him and not tear up; but man. I still miss him. We are about 11 months past his death and I can look back and know that 1) we did everything that we could to save him and to help him fight that cancer and 2) I don’t have regrets. I don’t regret the money spent. I don’t regret the treatments that we chose. He was an amazing dog and I’m glad that he found our family.

On to Teddy. He is fitting in great. he is wonderful with the kids. Great with our cat. And just a cute little character. We have gotten over his problems with accidents in the kennel. At this point his only “problem” is that he likes to try to be the alpha dog. Especially if there is a big dog around. But considering all of his other amazing qualities we deal with that little fault and try to work to get him over it.

Teddy went out to Wyoming with us this year (part of why we got a little dog, so that he could go on trips with us). I wasn’t sure what he would think of the snow; but he LOVED it. he was adorable running through it, often it was over his head and he would suddenly pop out.

I’ll post next week about our experience flying with him and things that I found that worked and didn’t work (airline travel). I’ll also try to add some more recent pictures.

🙂

1 week with Teddy

It is kind of hard to believe that it has already been a week that we have had Teddy, and then it is kind of hard to believe that he has only been a part of our family for a week. He is falling right in with the family. We all just love him and the biggest problem is probably the “argument” each night over who he sleeps with. I should confess that the selfish part of me wants him in my room each night. 😉 I don’t give in to my selfishness though, the kids all take turns.

We are learning more and more about him. Like that he wants to eat dinner *with* us. As in, having his food bowl against the wall, about 2 feet away from the table was not a good thing. He wasn’t too interested in eating and we had taken to sitting on the floor with him to encourage him. Then a few nights ago my oldest daughter said, “hey, maybe he wants to eat WITH us!” She put his food bowl by the table (still on the floor) and he immediately dug right in!

Teddy’s favorite treat is beef jerky made by a guy who sells it at our farmer’s market. I think that Teddy would try to walk on water for a bit of this stuff!

Speaking of walking on water… we have been introducing him to swimming. We bought him a life jacket and let him ride around on a float with us. When he is ready to get out of the lake he climbs off of the float and starts swimming for the dock where I pull him in. Then he rubs all over the dock – I think the outdoor carpet on it must feel good. Oh, and he only wants to go in when it is HOT outside (like the 100+ temps we have been having).

I promise, pictures will come soon. But then after that I’m thinking I should probably move Teddy posts over to our family blog since he has all 4 legs. But I’m not sure… honestly, at our family blog I’m kind of just typing to myself. I don’t think anyone reads it! haha But I figure in 10 years I’ll like to look back and see what was happening in our lives through these stages…

We did it. We got a new dog

Teddy Bear Oreo joined our family a couple of days ago and he is really fitting in so far.  He is a 13 pound shih tzu, 3 years old and was an owner turn in.  (original owner got sick and couldn’t care for him.)  My husband and I decided to make the switch to a small dog for a number of reasons – stuff like being able to take him on trips with us when we fly, not having to use the car top carrier for luggage due to the dog taking up the cargo area of the SUV, him being able to cuddle in bed with the kids, a longer life expectancy… We really had to think about it since we both consider ourselves to be “big dog people”; but long before I started having dobermans (more than 20 years ago…) I had a shih tzu and he was a great dog.  I tried to consider terriers.  I tried to like them.  But I have to confess that their bark was just something I couldn’t get over.  It is kind of high pitched or something.  I don’t know, it drove me nuts with all of the terriers that we met and many different weekend visits to PetSmart.  In the end, I kept coming back to shih tzus.  I had found a tripawd one that I had hoped to meet; but then got delayed due to a bad ankle/foot sprain.  He was adopted by someone else while I was waiting to get better (needed a week to get to where I could get around on the boot – there was just no way that I was able to get around for all of the walks that would be needed that first week of my injury.  But it all worked out.  This week a new listing came up on Petfinder for a pup and we went to meet him.  The kids all fell in love, I don’t mind his bark, he fit right in with us.

We have now had Teddy for about a day and a half (picked him up late Wednesday night).  He does have worms, which he is being treated for.  Other than that he got a clean bill of health from our vet.  I think we are going to have to work on his “big man on campus” issues – if he sees a bigger dog (so anything other than a Chihuahua, a yorkie, or similar) he has to bark and show everyone he is tough.  We’ll be working on that.  In fact, we are about to head out to work on socializing right now.  🙂

Dogs that need homes…

Well, I have been really hanging around Petfinder lately.  Trying to think about what we are looking for in another dog.  For now, I thought that I’d post links to tripawds that I find there just to give them a little more visibility.  I have also been posting these in the rescue forum on the tripawds site; but I figure every little bit of visibility can help.

Journey – 8 years old Airedale mix:

http://www.peoplepets.com/people/pets/article/0,,20592755,00.html?xid=icanhas  and the petfinder page  http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/22368331

 

Curly – young shih tzu mix:

http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/22909018

 

Pepper – young lab mix:

http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/19203203

 

 

Almost 2 months and I still miss him

🙁  I was telling my husband last night, A day hasn’t gone by that I haven’t specifically thought to myself that I really miss Spencer.  I still tear up when I think about him.  I called our family vet yesterday to ask that if they have any patients who need an amputation and the family is on the fence that they give the family my name and number in case they want to talk to someone who has been through it.  I found myself tearing up just talking to the vet.  This weekend we plan to finally bury Spencer’s ashes (along with all of the other pets’ ashes that we have been saving).  I know it is going to be tough.  (Before we had the cabin we never had a home that we felt we would ALWAYS own.  Even our house now, we plan to sell it when (in 12 years) the kids are all out of high school.  But now we have the cabin and we plan to retire there, so are ready to bury all of our pets – my cat Fred, our cat Timone,  the dog we had when we got married – Baron, and now Spencer.)  I actually think that this weekend we will only bury Spencer and Timone’s ashes as they were also the kids’ pets and they need this closure.  Then later Ed and I can go and bury the other 2 pets.

I know I’m getting more to the point that I’m ready to consider getting a new dog; but man.  I still miss Spencer.  Every time I get home and put the key in the front door I think of how much I miss how happy he was to see me when I came through the door.  I really miss him everyday when I walk down to the school bus stop.  And oh how I miss him up at the cabin.

I’m starting to think that my heart is ready to have a new pet there to greet me and to become a part of our family.  I’m having a hard time figuring out what would be a good fit though.  My first thought is that we get another doberman.  BUT… I have decided that I want to buy from a breeder this time rather than doing a rescue.  I want to know the family history, know that there is no cardio myopathy or cancer in the family.  So maybe I can start out a little ahead…  But at the same time, I want a doberman with natural ears.  Well, I called what seem to be the 3 most reputable breeders near Atlanta.  All of them crop the pups’ ears at about 6 or 7 weeks – before they have figured out which dogs are pet quality and which are show quality.  And I REALLY love the natural ears.  I just can’t see us with a doberman with cropped ears – he would be missing such an expressive part of himself!  So, if not a doberman… we started talking about maybe we should do a small dog.  But it can’t be yippy or snappy.  It has to be a dog that is good with kids (kids who are good with dogs; but they are still kids).  I don’t want aggressions – not toy or food or anything else that I haven’t thought of.  And I want a dog who doesn’t have accidents in the house and is easily house trained.  It sure seems hard to find all of  that in a little dog.  I thought the French Bulldog seemed like it might be a possibility; but then some research said that these dogs absolutely can NOT swim.  At all.  they sink.  I think that is too much of a risk for us.  I mean, what if the little thing tried going in the lake at the cabin and we couldn’t get to him in time???  Too risky.  so, I’m still researching; but I also keep coming back to dobermans.  Other than being small (and therefor portable – even able to be our carryon luggage for our annual ski trip) dobermans have every quality that we want.  Maybe I just need to get over the cropped ears thing…

 

I have a confession…

Deep down, I really held out hope (and kind of believed) that Spencer was going to be the dog to beat the odds.  I thought he might make it.  Or that he would at least make it for more than a year.  I never admitted this to anyone, not even my husband.  I mean, before the lung mets we all hoped that he was going to beat it, and really thought he was going to.  But after the diagnosis of lung mets on Jan. 6… well, I still held out hope.  Spencer seemed healthy (as I posted time and again).  We would meet people when out and they would ask about his leg and then comment that he was going to beat the cancer, right?  And I’d be honest and say that no, it was in his lungs; but that while he was doing so great we would keep fighting and that hopefully he would at least make it through the summer.  For the kids, I was always very honest that he couldn’t beat it and it was important for us to enjoy every moment with him.  But all along, in the back of my head a little voice said that if any dog could beat it, it would be Spencer.  I had convinced myself that he would be here for Christmas 2012.  I had convinced myself that when we went in next week for xrays that the mets would be smaller or even gone.

I still made a point to practice what I preached – I enjoyed every minute that we had with Spencer.  I spoiled him, loved on him and made sure that we did things with him.  But I wasn’t convinced that he was actually going to die from this.  I just really expected to see his health go down hill like it did with my last dog – Baron.  I had warning signs with Baron.  I knew the time was coming.  It was gradual.  He SEEMED sick.

But then… I think about how different Spencer and Baron were.  I loved Baron with all of my heart too; but let’s face it.  He was a bit of a wimp.  I always knew RIGHT away if he had the slightest injury because he let me know right away.  Unlike Spencer, who NEVER let me know something was wrong.  Spencer broke his toe one time.  I’m pretty sure I know when it happened – he had been trying to run around the corner downstairs, slipped, and slid all of the way across the kitchen until he hit the chair I was sitting in.  A couple of days later I went to trim his nails and saw that one of his toes was very swollen.  Took him right to the vet.  His toe was broken.  He had never let on.  And that was how Spencer was.  He never let on when he was in pain or not feeling well.  I shouldn’t have been surprised that they handled cancer totally differently (that and that even though both were dealing with cancer in the lungs, it was different kinds of cancer).

I really miss Spencer.  it is weird not having him here.  I still tear up when I think about him.  My husband is going to have to call to cancel next weeks oncology appointment for me because I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it.  I know that eventually I’ll be better with it though, just like I am now with Baron.

today at the grocery store…

My oldest daughter has pink eye, so was home from school today.  That is 3 days of me not being able to get my stuff done while they were at school.  So, I had to to go to the grocery store with her in tow (but not touching ANYTHING).  I wanted to hurry to grab the things that we needed, so I cut down a random isle.  Wouldn’t you know it, that random isle was the pet food isle (we didn’t buy dog food at the grocery store, so it wasn’t one of the isles I was particularly familiar with).  I hoped she wouldn’t notice and tried to just hurry down the isle.  Halfway down she looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said, “Mommy, can we not come down this way anymore?  It makes me really sad.”  🙁

Later today I was upstairs.  I kept swearing that I heard Spencer’s collar jingling.  I thought I must be going crazy.  Yeah, my daughter was wearing his collar around her waist.

Last night’s sunset

As you guys know, yesterday was a hard, and crazy day.  Normally, on Mondays the kids go to school, they get off the bus, the twins have 45 minutes of swim team practice, then I drop the girls at dance class and my son at gymnastics.  I then head back to pick up the girls and eventually either I or my husband go and pick up my son.  So as it is, Mondays are normally a little bit hectic.

But with Spencer’s death yesterday things were different.  My mom picked all of the kids up from school around 11:30.  After we left the vet they went to lunch with my mom and step dad, then the kids came back home.  The twins wanted to skip swim team, which I was perfectly fine with and the girls wanted to skip dance, again, I was fine with that.  My son decided that he wanted to go to gymnastics though, because to him, “gymnastics is the happiest place on earth!”  <3   Now… my son does gymnastics practice for 3 hours.  Like I said, it is drop off, then go back later.  At drop off I stayed for a bit and talked to a friend.  Then the girls and I got back in the car and drove home. Right when we pulled into the driveway my older daughter said that he left his snack bag in the car.  Argh.  BACK we went, and this time in traffic.  But, just before we turned into gymnastics we saw this beautiful sunset and right in the middle of the brightest point there were 2 clouds (likely made by airplanes since they were straight lines; but they were much puffier than normal stuff left by planes).  The lines crossed and looked like a cross right there in the brightest point of the sunset.  The girls and I decided it was God letting us know that Spencer was in Heaven and he was OK.   Then a minute later we saw another set of clouds like this; but smaller.  These looked almost purple against a pink sky.

After we dropped off his snack (just in time) I took the girls to get a milkshake since there was no point in heading back home at that point and we saw a 3rd cloud formation like that!  It really did feel like a special sunset to welcome a special dog.

A happy memory

Over the next few days I’m going to post just different thoughts and also some things I had intended to blog; but never got around to.

 

On the weekend of March 18 we went up to the cabin.  Spencer, my youngest daughter and I went up on Friday.  My husband and the twins came up on Saturday.  Saturday morning Spencer, my daughter and I went into downtown Blue Ridge for a bit.  Walking around there with Spencer was like walking around with a rock star.  Everyone wanted to stop and pet the 3 legged dog, find out his story and comment on how great he was doing.  At the start of the day he was eager to meet everyone, giving licks and all.  By the end of the day you could see that he was like, “look people… that’s enough.  I have licked a thousand hands and I’m done with greeting the public.”  🙂  He started just walking past people and paying attention to my daughter instead.

Sometimes when you are out with a three legged dog you get some negative comments.  People suggesting that it would have been better for you to have just put the dog to sleep, or how they cold never do that to their dog, what ever.  But mostly, what we encountered was a lot of people amazed by Spencer.  <3

Spencer’s last day

I posted on tripawds this morning in a panic.  See, as I posted below – Friday Spencer was doing GREAT.  Like, amazing.  Running, happy, eating, drinking.  he didn’t seem sick at.all.  He happily ran to and from the school bus stop in the afternoon to get the kids off of the bus.  That was always his favorite time of the day – “school bus time”.  Around 2:20 each day, if I so much as flinched, he would jump up, tail wagging, and run to the door.  Then look disappointed when it wasn’t quite time to go.  When finally, at about 2:38 each day, I would open the front door he would run out onto the porch with his tail wagging, looking back to make sure I was coming.

 

But as we know with Spencer, he never let on when he wasn’t feeling well.

 

So I knew something was wrong this morning.  And honestly, I started worrying last night.  But not REALLY worrying, just a little.

 

On Saturday I had to go to a birthday party with my youngest daughter.  That night the kids and I went and slept at my mother’s house so that we would be closer to the gymnastics competition that William had to be at by 7:40 Sunday morning.  As we were packing the car to leave Spencer was doing his normal, “don’t leave me.  I’m coming.  Here, let me go ahead and get situated in the car for you!” routine.  We had to tell him to go back in the house.  🙁  My husband was flying out to CA on Sunday afternoon, so he ended up staying at our house packing and Spencer was with him.  So I wasn’t around Spencer much on Saturday or Sunday.  When my husband got to my mom’s house EARLY Sunday morning, he brought Spencer over there to spend the day.  After the competition I met my mom at a restaurant that is near her house, one that allows kids AND dogs (on the patio – a lot of places near her don’t allow kids so that they CAN allow smoking).  On the walk home, Spencer did seem to struggle some.  I wrote it off to him not being used to walking on a leash.  For the last few months the only time he has been on a leash has been to walk in and out of the vet’s office.  I don’t know when the last time was that he did an actual walk on leash.  Anyway, I did notice that he was having a harder time hopping along and really seemed like he was back about 1 – 2 weeks after his amputation (getting tired, having to stop and rest).  I wrote it off to the carboplatin treatment that he had just over a week ago.  He was still eating.  He was still giving lots of kisses.  Still wagging his tail.  One thing I did notice, that I didn’t pay much attention to was that he was getting a little bit of dandruff.

 

The kids and I drove home with Spencer last night and my son asked if Spencer could sleep in his room.  So, I moved the bed in there and that is where Spencer slept.

 

This morning we all got up.  Spencer did seem to have a little tougher time than normal; but nothing *too* alarming.  Until he started coughing.  And then he started coughing out some blood.  The largest amount was a drop about the size of a quarter, most were just a few drips.  The kids had been arguing with me that they didn’t want to ride the bus, they wanted me to drive them to the school (normally my husband drives them; but since he was out of town either I needed to drive them, or they needed to catch the bus).  I finally told them that I was NOT leaving Spencer home alone with him not feeling well and that they HAD to ride the bus.  That I was taking him to the vet and would e-mail their teachers with updates.

 

I got them out of the house, sat down and e-mailed their teachers to warn them that the kids were worried about Spencer and that I’d send an update later.  By now Spencer wasn’t coughing anymore; but he was laying on his bed by the couch (he had lots of beds) and I could hear a rattle when he would breathe.  I had to stop crying (posted on tripawds while trying to get myself under control enough to talk to them).  In my post I asked if things could really go down hill this fast, if we could go from on Friday thinking that we had months to suddenly maybe only having weeks.  Things seemed to be going downhill so much faster than with Baron (my last doberman, he had lung cancer).  I guess that I expected the cancers to go about the same since Baron’s was lung cancer and now Spencer’s was in his lungs.

 

I called GVS (Georgia Veterinary Specialists) and asked what I should do.  Spencer’s oncologist is not in the office on Mondays.  So I asked if it was worth it to drive over to GVS for the ER, knowing that with traffic it could take me 2 hours, or if I should go to the family vet since they at least know all of Spencer’s history.  They told me that considering the time it would take to get there it would probably be better to go to the family vet.  At first I planned to wait to call them (The Veterinary Clinic West) once they opened at 8:30.  But then I peaked at Spencer’s gums and tongue and they were pretty much grey.  I snuck upstairs (because I didn’t want him following me) and took a fast shower, then back downstairs.  I called The Veterinary Clinic and left a message saying what was going on (pale gums/tongue, coughing blood, weak) and that I was driving on down and would be there waiting when they opened at 8:30.  I called spencer to go out to the car.  He got up, walked around the couch, and kind of fell down.  He couldn’t get back up.  I called my husband in a panic wondering WHAT I was going to do.  Calmed down, went out and moved the car so that it would be as close to the door as possible, got the sling that I used to help Spencer walk right after his amputation.  I came back in, tried to slide that under him and help him walk to the car.  But we only made it about 3 of my steps.  His legs didn’t seem to be working at all.  I didn’t know what I was going to do.  I knew there was no way I could carry him that far.  I went out in my front yard thinking I’d try to catch one of the other men on the street.  My neighbor’s son (20 something) and one of his friends were in the driveway and I called to them (while bawling) and asked if they could come help get Spencer in the car.  they ran right up and carried him out and laid him on the bed in my car (actually a mini van, have one of the seats folded into the floor and keep a dog bed there for Spencer).  During all of this The Veterinary Clinic had called back and told me to take Spencer to the Cobb ER Vet, that if he needed a transfusion that was the place he needed to be.  So we headed down there.  Me crying the whole way, driving and trying to pet him.  When I got there I pulled up to the door, ran in and asked for help getting him in.  They wheeled him back and I started filling out paperwork.  I had called my mom while I was driving and told her I needed her to come up, that things were bad with Spencer and we were headed to the ER vet.  While I was checking in she called there checking to see if we had made it.  She was on her way.  Someone from the ER vet’s office came out, told me that things were serious with Spencer, that they needed to do x-rays, blood work, fluids… and she started to go over the cost with me.  I told her to just do it.  I figured at that point that it really couldn’t add up to much more than we had gotten used to spending on all of the chemo and told her to just do what ever they needed to do.

 

My mom and step dad got there, the vet came in to talk to us.  He told me that I had done an excellent job filling out the patient history.  (getting kind of good at it by now!)  He was frank – things didn’t look good.  He asked if Spencer had a heart condition and I told him that his heart wasn’t functioning quite at full capacity; but that it wasn’t cardio myopathy as of September.  Apparently he was having a hard time hearing Spencer’s heartbeat, which could indicate a heart issue, or fluid in the chest.  Spencer’s WBC count was off; but his red blood cells were good.  His platelets were really, really low.  And it is not common to do a platelet transfusion for a dog.  they didn’t have platelets there.  He said MAYBE UGA had some, or GVS (where Spencer went to the oncologist).  They were going to run a few more tests.  Do the x-rays.  then they would get back to me.

 

With the x-rays we saw why he couldn’t hear the heart.  Spencer’s chest was FULL of fluid.  No way to be 100% sure; but most likely blood.  We weren’t positive; but it looked like there might be a few new lung mets in another part of his lungs.  The vet told us that he could use a syringe and draw off the fluid; but that what ever had caused it to start would still be there.  That we MIGHT buy Spencer another week; but it might only buy a few more hours.  That Spencer was not going to be able to go back to how he was on Friday.

 

I asked my mom and step dad to go and pick my kids up from school.  At first Spencer was back in what looked like a big incubator; but was just a box with oxygen.  They moved him into a visitation room so that he could lay comfortable and had an oxygen tube that I just tried to hold near his nose while I laid and cuddled with him.  It was obvious that he was sick.  I think he was worse than he was the day I picked him up from his amputation.  At least on that day he perked his ears up some and wagged his tail a little.  By the time he was in that room today, he wasn’t doing either.  I also noticed that his dandruff (that I had noticed yesterday) was really bad.  Something I had never seen on him.  And, his fur just wasn’t as soft.  It was kind of bristly.  Very strange.  I guess that all those fluids going into his chest were maybe making it where the moisture/oil in his skin wasn’t there, so his fur was dry?

 

The door to the room was closed; but I heard my kids when they came in the building.  They were really trying to keep their crying under control; but they were SO upset.  They were upset with me for promising them, as I sent them off to the bus, that Spencer would NOT die today.  They were upset that the cancer was taking their dog.  They were just flat out upset.  And who can blame them?  They snuggled him a lot.  Hugged on him.  And then got upset all over again when I told them they needed to go in another room with my mom while the doctor gave Spencer the medicine that would “first make Spencer sleepy, so he would go to sleep.  then it would stop his heart and he would die.  And he wouldn’t hurt anymore and would go to Heaven.”  They wanted to stay with him.  But… when I had Baron put to sleep he urinated, and I didn’t know if that would upset the kids.  And the bigger concern was that the vet thought there was a chance that some fluid/blood would come out of Spencer’s mouth and nose.  And I worried that would REALLY upset the kids.  So my mom took them in the other room.  My step dad and I stayed with Spencer until he was gone.  When I went to get the kids I told them that he was gone, he was in Heaven now.  My older daughter (7.5 years old) looked at me so serious and asked, “what was it like when he disappeared?”  I explained that his body was still here; but that his soul, what made Spencer different from every other dog in the world, was now in Heaven.  The kids really insisted that they wanted to see his body and I decided that it would be OK, so we stepped back in and they saw that it just looked like he was sleeping.  They mostly seemed OK with things.

 

My mom took the kids out to the car and I stuck around to get the 3 paw prints that they were doing (in clay).  Once I had those I went out and rode home with the kids (my head was SPLITTING from all of the crying, so my mom was driving).  My Mom and step dad took the kids out for lunch so that I could have a little bit of time on my own.    My step dad helped me get the dog kennel, dog beds, dog bowls and everything else down in the basement.  Our family room feels weird without Spencer’s big kennel and 2 beds in it.  🙁