Almost 2 months and I still miss him

🙁  I was telling my husband last night, A day hasn’t gone by that I haven’t specifically thought to myself that I really miss Spencer.  I still tear up when I think about him.  I called our family vet yesterday to ask that if they have any patients who need an amputation and the family is on the fence that they give the family my name and number in case they want to talk to someone who has been through it.  I found myself tearing up just talking to the vet.  This weekend we plan to finally bury Spencer’s ashes (along with all of the other pets’ ashes that we have been saving).  I know it is going to be tough.  (Before we had the cabin we never had a home that we felt we would ALWAYS own.  Even our house now, we plan to sell it when (in 12 years) the kids are all out of high school.  But now we have the cabin and we plan to retire there, so are ready to bury all of our pets – my cat Fred, our cat Timone,  the dog we had when we got married – Baron, and now Spencer.)  I actually think that this weekend we will only bury Spencer and Timone’s ashes as they were also the kids’ pets and they need this closure.  Then later Ed and I can go and bury the other 2 pets.

I know I’m getting more to the point that I’m ready to consider getting a new dog; but man.  I still miss Spencer.  Every time I get home and put the key in the front door I think of how much I miss how happy he was to see me when I came through the door.  I really miss him everyday when I walk down to the school bus stop.  And oh how I miss him up at the cabin.

I’m starting to think that my heart is ready to have a new pet there to greet me and to become a part of our family.  I’m having a hard time figuring out what would be a good fit though.  My first thought is that we get another doberman.  BUT… I have decided that I want to buy from a breeder this time rather than doing a rescue.  I want to know the family history, know that there is no cardio myopathy or cancer in the family.  So maybe I can start out a little ahead…  But at the same time, I want a doberman with natural ears.  Well, I called what seem to be the 3 most reputable breeders near Atlanta.  All of them crop the pups’ ears at about 6 or 7 weeks – before they have figured out which dogs are pet quality and which are show quality.  And I REALLY love the natural ears.  I just can’t see us with a doberman with cropped ears – he would be missing such an expressive part of himself!  So, if not a doberman… we started talking about maybe we should do a small dog.  But it can’t be yippy or snappy.  It has to be a dog that is good with kids (kids who are good with dogs; but they are still kids).  I don’t want aggressions – not toy or food or anything else that I haven’t thought of.  And I want a dog who doesn’t have accidents in the house and is easily house trained.  It sure seems hard to find all of  that in a little dog.  I thought the French Bulldog seemed like it might be a possibility; but then some research said that these dogs absolutely can NOT swim.  At all.  they sink.  I think that is too much of a risk for us.  I mean, what if the little thing tried going in the lake at the cabin and we couldn’t get to him in time???  Too risky.  so, I’m still researching; but I also keep coming back to dobermans.  Other than being small (and therefor portable – even able to be our carryon luggage for our annual ski trip) dobermans have every quality that we want.  Maybe I just need to get over the cropped ears thing…