Still going strong!

Just thought I’d post a quick update.  Nothing much new.  I need to download pictures and post them.  🙂  Spencer still seems to be doing great!  No outward signs of being sick at all.  We went for a short hike over the weekend and he loved it.  My brother and sister in law brought their 2 labs up to the cabin and Spencer absolutely loved having them to play with!  We go for his 2nd carboplatin treatment on Thursday and I’m also going to see all of  his x-rays and talk to the vet about making sure there is nothing else that we should be doing.

We are trying to spoil the mess out of Spencer right now.  The day I told the kids they REALLY wanted him to get to sit on the couch with them.  I put a blanket down and tried to get him up there.  He could NOT figure out what in the world we were asking him to do.  Then this weekend I tried to get him to jump in the bed with me.  Again, he had no clue what I was doing, he woulldn’t get on the bed.  (and the bed isn’t too high for him, he still easily jumps in my husband’s Expedition, which is MUCH higher than our bed.)  My husband then tried to get Spencer to get up on the couch at the cabin with him and again, Spencer had no clue what was going on.  It is weird.  We never really got onto him about getting on the couch, we just never let him on there.  We got Spencer when he was 7 months old and he was already a big boy.  I had learned from my last 2 dobermans that if you start out letting them on the couch, you will never get them off.  haha  So… we never put Spencer on the couch.  And now he doesn’t seem to even thing about getting on it (though he is definitely not above sneaking into my recliner;-)  ).

I hope everyone has a great week.  I’ll update after Thursday’s appointment!

Back at the cabin.

The kids, Spencer and I got to the cabin tonight.  He was SO excited when we got off of the main road onto the curvy backroad.  Then he could hardly contain his excitement once we turned off onto the gravel road that leads to our place.  It has been 2.5 weeks since we have been up here and everyone is so happy to be back.  🙂  Tomorrow we plan to go for a hike around the lake with Spencer.  We figure we need to do this while he is still up to it.  And I’ll be taking LOTS of pictures!!

I need to be pissed for a minute

I’m so mad.  I was FREAKED when we first found Spencer’s tumor.  So upset, I was sure it meant he was going to die soon.  Then we found out it was fibrosarcoma, and it seemed almost like good news!  That was so much better than bone cancer.  It was going to be manageable.  But… it was grade 3.  BUT, his lungs were clear.  Then they did the amputation and his lymph nodes were clear too.  Really, it was going to be OK.  Then he handled the chemo great (after we swapped him to mitox).  His oncologist even thought he was doing great.  But NO.  it moved to his freaking lungs.  And I’m mad about that.  And I’m sad about it.  And it seems unreal.  Today he ran home from the bus stop.  It is up a pretty steep hill.  And he ran like he was so healthy.  He doesn’t seem sick at all.  Through all of this, he has NEVER seemed sick.  How can he have terminal cancer and show no signs of it?

My kids still cry regularly about their cat who died a year ago.  They aren’t ready to lose their dog.  Part of me wonders if they have made a mistake.  Maybe they are wrong.  Maybe it was just swollen lymph nodes.  But I know that isn’t the case.  I mean, the logical part of me knows that.  My kids keep asking if there is any chance that the cancer c an go away, and I tell them that it is extremely unlikely, that I can’t say it is impossible; but that it almost is.  But then in my head I hear myself hoping right along with the kids.

This all just sucks.

Our plan…

I broke the news to the kids today.  As expected, they were pretty upset.  We had a good cry, and then they made a banner for Spencer.  I’ll have to get a picture of it in the next few days.  We talked about making “Spencer Boxes” where they could put pictures that they draw of Spencer and write him letters.  And we talked about what we are going to do.  We are going to enjoy the time we have left with Spencer and at the same time we are going to try to make sure that we have as much time as possible with him.  I’m going to talk to the oncologist and try to set up an appointment to see the x-rays and talk about all of the possible options.  And this weekend, we are going to take Spencer up to the cabin, we will go on a little hike with him.  While he is still up for it.  So far, he is still full of energy and doesn’t seem to tire too easily.  But I remember how lung cancer went with Baron (my last doberman, he got lung cancer) and I know that things can go down hill fast sometimes.  So, we are going to take Spencer’s lead and do as much as he is up to.  And enjoy every minute with him.

 

We’re home!

Yay!  We are finally home.  Spencer was so happy to see us and we were all so happy to see him!

Now… I guess I’m going to have to tell the kids.  ugh.  I dread it.  But I’m just going to stress to them that we are going to keep doing what we can to keep Spencer as happy and healthy as possible and that we are going to enjoy every day we have with him.  I think that they are going to be excited to get pictures with him at our upcoming family photo shoot with Melissa Palomo.  I can already hear my 5 year old, “Mommy, will you get that one printed just for me for my room???”

Oh, and since we have been out of town I still haven’t gotten the tree down at the cabin.  I have decided that I’m trying that picture again, this time with Spencer in it!!

I’m heartbroken.

My husband got back to Atlanta late Wednesday/early Thursday and dropped Spencer off at the oncologist’s office this morning (Friday). Turns out it isn’t his lymph nodes, it is 3 nodules in his lungs – cancer. Best case they give us is 2 months if we bring him home and do nothing but what is needed to keep him comfortable for as long as possible. Or we can try another chemo – carboplatin. It won’t cure him, just buy more time. This time it will be one, short treatment every 3 weeks. They give us 30 – 40% odds that it will buy him 6 – 12 months. But I just keep reminding myself that these damn spots came up WHILE he was on chemo. Would they have come up faster had he not been on chemo? Would he already been gone if we hadn’t done the first 15 weeks of chemo? I guess that might be the case. But I’m just so pissed. He seems like he is doing sooooo great. He is full of life. What ever he did to make himself limp has healed up.

And then there’s the kids. I told them that we thought Spencer had beat this. That he was better. That we couldn’t be POSITIVE; but that we had every reason to think he would get to see them start high school (they are in kindergarten and 2nd grade right now). Now I get to tell them, nope. sorry.

I decided to go forward with the dose of carboplatin today. We will take it treatment by treatment. We will enjoy every minute that we have with him. I guess this means that if he is still around in August that we will be driving for our trip to CO so that he can come with us, because absolutely no more leaving him at home.

I think that I will wait until we get home from this trip to tell them. No point in spoiling the last of their trip. And if I tell them when we are home they can have Spencer there to love on him.

The “good news” is that I got food poisoning last night, so I was skipping skiing today anyway. My mom has the kids up on the mountain and I have a few hours to get myself together.